I’m not saying that conventional malletopathy is not right for some people, or for some illnesses, particularly head-related ones. But I don’t understand the need to force this one single interpretation of malletopathy down the throat of everyone. Reformed malletopathy works for me, and for many other people. And yes we do sometimes use it in combination with other medical traditions. Modern malletopathy is an open-minded and tolerant movement. We embrace good ideas wherever they come from. Why, if we always listened to the traditionalists we’d still be using clubs.

KEE: “Retrophrenology has a much more holistic approach.”

Retrophrenology is not incompatible with malletopathy. On the contrary. Retrophrenology is malletopathy applied to psychology.

But for the record, we would like to note that the claim that malletopathy “can be used in addition to other healthcare services ” is misleading: After True and Orthodox Norse Malletopathy™ you won’t need any other treatment.

(Payment before treatment, of course.)

If this reformed version catches on, it signals the downfall of all the naturalness the wood stands for.