LEAVERLY.TXT



Archive-name: movies/crazy-credits
Last-modified: 1993/11/16
Version: 1.7


CRAZY CREDITS LIST 1.7
----------------------

Document Revision 1.0 - 14/10/93

Release date: 16th November 1993

This document contains a list of things that happens at the end of movies 
during the showing of the credits.

See what you missed by leaving early! :-)

Contacts
--------

The CRAZY CREDITS database is maintained by Mark Harding (ccsmh@ss1.bath.ac.uk)
It was previously maintained by Murray Chapman  

All submissions must have "CRAZY CREDITS" in the subject line.

New Entries this month
----------------------
  Angel Heart
  Assault of the Party Nerds
  Buford's Beach Bunnies
  Eat and Run
  River Runs Through It, A
  Sleepaway Camp 2: Unhappy Campers
  Tune In Tomorrow
  M*A*S*H
  Phantasm II
  Comfort and Joy

Facts & Figures
---------------

* Col Needham's Movie Database Scripts (from 2.7) support it fully.

* The list currently contains 77 entries.

* The list will be posted to rec.arts.movies every month.

Rules
-----

1. You must stick to the pre-arranged format given below.   The entries
   will be read in by a program, and will automatically be added to the 
   list. Any non-conformant entries will be discarded.

2. Try and keep entries reasonably concise.

3. The list compiler has the right to choose which entries to use.  
   Information from a number of sources may be combined to provide a single
   biography.

4. Any submissions must have "CRAZY CREDITS" in the subject line of the mail.
   Multiple entries may be sent in one mail message.

5. If possible, run your entry through a spell checker.

Format
------

First some examples:

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
# Lethal Weapon 3
- During the credits you can hear that another bomb has been discovered. When
  Martin and Roger show up in their car, they have this discussion again
  whether or not to go in. Just as they stop at the building, the whole
  building explodes and you can hear Martin saying, while backing up the car,
  "I hope nobody saw us".

# Masters of the Universe
- Skeltor says "I'll be back!".

# Singles
- Outtakes after credits on video version
- Steve (Campbell Scott) goes to a house looking for Linda (Kyra Sedgwick), but
  a woman at the house (Debbie Mazar) tells him that she's moved out to live
  with some guy.
- Steve walks down the street past the mime (Eric Stoltz) to the magazine stand
  where the magazines on the rack start talking to him, giving him advice.  He
  goes home to his apartment.
- David (Jim True) walks down a street.  His voiceover says that Steve's search
  for the perfect girl is a trap, and that he lives his own life like a French
  movie where everyone is cool and no attachments are made.  He enters a
  beatnik club where a woman (Lara Harris) recites a poem in French.  She sits
  down with him for a brief conversation in French and they leave together.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The format is:

# 
-  Each entry should start with a hyphen, followed by text (no more than
         65 characters per line). See the list crazy.dbs for more example.

Other Lists
-----------
Details of all the other lists are given below.

 List            | Last Post | Maintained by                        | Next Post
 ----------------|-----------|--------------------------------------|----------
 Cinematographers| 04/28/93  | Michel Hafner   | June
 Writers         | 07/02/93  | Jon Reeves       | September
 Composers       | 08/03/93  | Michel Hafner   | October
 Actors          | 08/31/93  | Col Needham      | October
 Plot Summaries  | 09/03/93  | Colin Tinto     | October
 Trivia          | 09/10/93  | Murray Chapman   | October
 Movies          | 09/12/93  | Michel Hafner   | FTP only
 Alt. Titles     | 09/12/93  | Michel Hafner   | FTP only
 Actresses       | 09/14/93  | Andy Krieg      | UNKNOWN
 Directors       | 09/15/93  | Col Needham      | November
 Dead            | 09/28/93  | Col Needham      | November
 Character Names | 10/07/93  | Steve Hammond | FTP only
 Crazy Credits   | 10/15/93  | Mark Harding   | November
 Biographies     | 10/15/93  | Mark Harding   | November
 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The lists are also available via anonymous ftp from refuge.colorado.edu
in the directory pub/tv+movies/lists.


CRAZY CREDITS
=============
# Adventures in Babysitting
- Shot of the thug who chased the little girl outside of skyscraper whimpering
  about being stuck out there.

# Airplane II: The Sequel
- Gaffer (What's a Gaffer?) ... Larry Gilhooly
- Best Boy (Electric) ......... Frank McKane
- Worst Boy ................... Adolf Hitler

# Airplane!
- Gripology ................................. Pete Papanickolas
- Generally in charge of a lot of things .... Mike Finnell
- Author of A Tale of Two Cities ............ Charles Dickens
-  This motion picture is protected under the laws of the
  United States and other countries.  Unauthorized duplica-
   tion, distribution, or exhibition may result in civil
      liability or criminal prosecution. So there.
- Man (Howard Jarvis) in taxi abandoned by Robert Hays looking at his
  watch: "Well, I'll give him another twenty minutes, but that's it!"

# Aliens
- The laserdisc version includes the sound of a face-hugger scurrying from
  left to right as the final credits fade.

# American Werewolf in London, An
- ...any similarity to persons living, dead, or undead, is purely coincidental"

# Angel Heart
- Scene during credits shows Mickey Rourke's character desending
  to 'Hell' inside of an elevator. Final shot looks(?) like he hung
  himself on the way down. (Could be just a freeze frame of the 
  last shot)

# Assault of the Party Nerds
- Still Photographer .......... David Wittkower
- Other Still Photographer (Who Showed Up 3 Days Without His Camera)
     .......... Kevin Minor Hayward
- The Guy Who Cheats At Softball ....... Rafter Man
- This motion picture is protected under the laws of the
  United States and other countries.  Unauthorized
  duplication, distribution or exhibition may result
  in civil liability and criminal prosecution.
  Just go ahead and try something.

# Being There
- Peter Sellers repeating a line in the hospital-bed scene, but laughing
  uncontrollably each time.  This line does not appear in the movie, and some
  versions of the film don't include these outtakes.

# Better Off Dead (1985)
- David Ogden Stiers fixing the garage door
- the successful launch of Badger's space shuttle, made from
  household items.
- "the film's over... you can go home now."

# Big Business (1988)
- Seen about two-thirds of the way through the credits: "Don't Go, It's Almost
  Over"

# Bird on a Wire
- Credits scroll down instead of up

# Blues Brothers, The
- Woman on the Cutting Room Floor

# Buffy the Vampire Slayer
- TV interviews with people who were at the dance attacked by vampires.
- Amilyn (Paul Reubens) revives to go through some more death throes.

# Buford's Beach Bunnies
- This motion picture is protected under the laws of the
  United States and other countries.  Unauthorized duplication,
  distribution or exhibition may result in civil liability
  and criminal prosecution. Don't mess with us, buddy.

# Chopping Mall
- Robot rolls up to camera and says: "Thank you.  Have a nice day."
  (Movie's plot is that security robots run amuck at a shopping mall and
  that's what they said after they'd killed somebody).

# Comfort and Joy
- Alan `Dickie' Bird (Bill Paterson) is heard taping and screwing up a radio
  commercial for the ice cream fritter product whose recipe he sells at the
  end of the movie.

# Eat and Run
-  a bfd production
  (the "f" is silent)

# F/X2
- Shot of helicopter flying and exclamations of non-pilot crook trying to keep
  it in the air.

# Fatal Skies (V)
- The doddering old sheriff draws his guns and aims that at the audience:
  "Halt!  Don't make a move!  You can avoid me, but you can never escape!"

# Ferris Bueller's Day Off
- Ferris comes out of bathroom: "You're still here?  It's over.  Go home."

# Field of Dreams
- The Voice ................ Himself

# Gate II
- At the end of the movie the hero is raised from the dead at his funeral, and
  then two others who were also killed climb out of the coffin.  After the
  credits a hamster that was sacrificed earlier in the movie crawls out of the
  coffin as well.

# Glitch!
- Bra Wrangler ............. Woops Mygod
- Zit Remover .............. Lucienne Pimpel
- Orange Juice Squeezer .... Big Hand Luke
- Palm Reader .............. Madame Ortega III
- Negative Cutting ......... Supercuts (Ha! Ha!)
- (No, Seriously...) ....... Mary Duerstein
-  Look for the soundtrack album in your neighborhood
  record store and if you cannot find it, write to your
     senator or bring a tape recorder to the theater
          the next time you see this movie.
- The producers wish to thank all those who didn't smoke
    on the set and to express their sympathy to those
        who did smoke and were fired thereafter.
    (Heart and Lung Association, eat your heart out!)
-    Our gratitude must be extended to all those who did
  not do drugs on the set.  The list is too long to mention.
   Those who did do drugs are listed separately in police
                     and morgue files.
- We appreciate the participation of Coca-Cola, Pepsi Cola,
   Dr. Pepper, Seven-Up, Shasta, Miller Beer, etc., etc.,
           in making this picture cooler.
-                          WARNING
  This picture is protected by all kinds of stuff.  Tamper with it,
    go to jail.  Before you make a copy to send to your aunt in
    Podunk, look out the window.  The Feds are gonna get you.
       And for all those foreign !@#$%$ who hate movies,
    remember Mr. Dubois?  He's working for the producers now.
- The characters, names, cars, homes, bikinis, limos, goons, and
  Mafia families in this motion picture are absolutely fictitious.
    Any similarity with characters, names, cars, homes, bikinis,
     limos, goons, and Mafia families, dead, alive, or anywhere
             in between is strictly coincidental.

# Gone with the Wind
- George Reeves is credited as playing the part of Brent Tarleton, and Fred
  Crane is billed as Stuart Tarleton.  This is incorrect: Crane played Brent,
  and Reeves played Stuart.

# Great Muppet Caper, The
- Gonzo takes a picture of the whole audience

# Great Outdoors, The
- Subtitled conversation between two raccoons --
  Raccoon #1: "Why's Jody sitting in the lake?"
  Raccoon #2: "You didn't hear? She got shot in the ass!"
  Raccoon #1: "Oh no! Don't tell me..."
  Raccoon #2: "Yup... She's bald on both ends now!"

# Guyver, The
- No Zoonoids were injured in the making of this movie.

# Highway 61
- Assistant Sound Editor ... Velcrow Ripper
  ADR Recordist ... Velcrow Ripper

# Hot Shots! Part Deux
- Interesting Fact: Actor Richard Crena invented tartar sauce.
- Interesting Fact: Darryl Strawberry spends his winters thinking up 
  new excuses.
- Secret of The Crying Game...............SHE'S A MAN
- A voice at the end of the credits says "Hot Shots Part Deux was filmed 
  in Hollywood before a live studio audience."

# I'm Gonna Git You Sucka
- Kung Fu Joe (Steve James) crawls up to a cop at the scene of the film's final
  confrontation: "Slade.  I must find Slade." [rips off his shirt]
  "Kung Fu Joe is here!"
  Cop: "Sorry buddy.  They've already gone." [walks away]
  Kung Fu Joe: [calls after him] "Yo brother, do you got a bandaid?"

# Innocent Blood
- The story, all names, characters and incidents portrayed in this production
  are fictitious. No identification with actual persons, vampires, places,
  buildings and products is intended or should be inferred.

# League of Their Own, A
- Shots of the real AAGABL old-timers playing baseball.

# Lethal Weapon 3
- During the credits you can hear that another bomb has been discovered. When
  Martin and Roger show up in their car, they have this discussion again
  whether or not to go in. Just as they stop at the building, the whole
  building explodes and you can hear Martin saying, while backing up the car,
  "I hope nobody saw us".

# Linguini Incident, The
- Rabbits ................ Hugh & Heff
- Special Effects Bras by Bart Trickel

# Look Who's Talking
- James brings Mikey to see his new sister:
  Mollie: "Hi honey."
  James: "Mikey, this is your sister Julie."
  Mollie: "Hi Julie."
  Mikey: "Hi Julie."
  Julie (voice of Joan Rivers): "Don't start with me kid.  I've had a day you
  wouldn't believe.  Can we talk?"

# Look Who's Talking Too
- Sperm Wrangler ......... Blair Clark
- Mikey's little sister Julie falls down.  Roseanne Barr's voice: "Oh, my tush
  hurts."

# M*A*S*H
- Movie credits are read over PA system

# Married to the Mob
- Michelle Pfeiffer and Matthew Modine dancing on the steps outside a building.

# Masters of the Universe
- Skeltor says "I'll be back!".

# Monty Python and the Holy Grail
- M0nti Pyth0n lk den H0lie Grailen
- R0tern nik Akten Di
- Wik
- Als0 wik
- Wi n0t trei a h0liday in Sweden this yer?
- See the l0veli lakes
- The wonderful teleph0ne system
- And mani interesting furry animals
-       The Producers would like to thank The Forestry Commission
        Doune Admissions Ltd, Keir and Cowdor Estates, Stirling
        University, and the people of Doune for their help in the
        making of this film.
        The Characters and incidents portrayed and the names used
        are fictitious and any similarity to the names, characters,
        or history of any person is entirely accidental and
        unintentional.
                        Signed RICHARD M. NIXON
- Including the majestic m00se
- A M00se once bit my sister ...
- No realli!  She was Karving her initials on the m00se
  with the sharpened end of an interspace t00thbrush given
  her by Svenge - her brother-in-law - an Oslo dentist and
  star of many Norwegian m0vies:  "The H0t Hands of an Oslo
  Dentist", "Fillings of Passion", "The Huge M0lars of Horst
  Nordfink".
- We apologise for the fault in the
  subtitles.  Those responsible have been
  sacked.
- Mynd you, m0se bites Kan be pretty nasti...
- We apologise again for the fault in the subtitles.  Those
  responsible for sacking the people who have just been sacked
  have been sacked.
- M00se trained by        TUTTE HERMSGERV0RDENBR0TB0RDA
- Special M00se Effects   OLAF PROT
  M00se Costumes          SIGGI CHURCHILL
  M00se Choreographed by  HORST PROT III
  Miss Taylor's M00ses by HENGST DOUGLAS-HOME
  M00se trained to mix
  concrete and sign com-
  plicated insurance
  forms by                JURGEN WIGG
  M00ses' noses wiped by  BJORN IRKESTOM-SLATER WALKER
- Large m00se on the left
  half side of the screen
  in the third scene from
  the end, given a thorough
  grounding in Latin,
  French and "O" Level
  Geography by            BO BENN
- Suggestive poses for the
  M00se suggested by      VIC ROTTER
  Antler-care by          LIV THATCHER
- The directors of the firm hired to
  continue the credits after the other
  people had been sacked, wish it to
  be known that they have just been
  sacked.
- The credits have been completed
  in an entirely different style at
  great expense and at the last
  minute.
- Executive Producer
        JOHN GOLDSTONE & "RALPH" The Wonder Llama
  Assisted by
        EARL J. LLAMA
        MIKE Q. LLAMA III
        SY LLAMA
        MERLE Z. LLAMA IX
        Directed By
        40 SPECIALLY TRAINED
        ECUADORIAN MOUNTAIN LLAMAS
        6 VENEZUELAN RED LLAMAS
        142 MEXICAN WHOOPING LLAMAS
        14 NORTH CHILEAN GUANACOS
        (CLOSELY RELATED TO THE LLAMA)
        REG LLAMA OF BRIXTON
        76000 BATTERY LLAMAS
        FROM "LLAMA-FRESH" FARMS NEARE PARAGUAY
        and
        TERRY GILLIAM AND TERRY JONES

# Muppet Movie, The
- Close-up of Animal shouting "Movie over!  Go Home!  Go Home!"

# Mutant on the Bounty
- Outtake of actors cracking up over scene where dead alien splatters all over
  their spaceship cabin.

# Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell of Fear, The
- Sound Mixer ................ Richard Bryce Goodman
  Mr. Goodman's Hearing Aid .. Beverly Hills Ear Boutique
- Hairdressers ........
  Set Dressers ........
  Cross Dressers ...... George LoCash
                 ...... Vance Collins
- Film Loader ......... Steven Robert Lund
  Loaded Filmer ....... Phil Elberg
- Secretary to Mr. Weiss ..... Mimi Wolan
  Wardrobe for Mr. Weiss ..... Beverly Hills High, Wide and Handsome
- Worst Boy:            Adolf Hitler
- In Case of Tornado:   South-west corner of cellar
- Crane Grip .................. Lloyd Barcroft
  Dolly Grip .................. Jon Falkengren
  Poli-Grip ................... Martha Raye
  What the Hell is a Grip? .... Person responsible for maintenance and
                                adjustment to equipment on the set
- General Foreman ...... John Hoskins
  General Schwarzkopf .. Welcome Home
  Foremen .............. Guy A. MacLaury
           .............. Joseph Santre
           .............. Bernard McPherson
           .............. Michael Bunch
  George Formen ........ 6'4" 250 lbs. Age: 42 Won: 60 Lost: 3 KO's:65
- Production Painters ..... Nick Bridwell
                        ..... Donnie R. Puga
  Impressionist Painters .. Vincent Van Gogh
                           .. Edgar "Skip" Degas
- Driver Captain ....... Ray McLaughlin
  Co-Captain ........... Dan Brooks
  Navigator ............ Rabbi Brian Thau
  Bombardier ........... Alan Ladwig
- Deep Sea Drivers ..... Steve Brodsky
                  ..... Jimmy Ferrara
                  ..... Wayne Campbell
                  ..... Gina August
- Stock Librarian ...... Suzy Lafer
  Stock Answer ......... "I'll have it ready in the morning"
- Stunts:
    Phil "Kamikaze" Adams
    "Crazy" Bruce Barbour
    "Reckless" Dwayne McGee
    David "Headlong Plunge" Powledge
    Jeff "Thud" Ramsey
    Don "Headfirst" Pulford
    "Dangling" Kaye Wade
    Charlie "White Knuckles" Brewer
    Eugene "Splat" Collier
    Mickey "This Guy's Really Nuts!" White
    Jimmy "Tailspin" Jue
    Eric "Aaarrrgggghhhh" Norris
    Lobster Stunt Breast ........ Miss V
    Mr. Griffith's Stunt Butt ... Chuck Le Fever
- Voice of George Bush (John Roarke): "All right, let's see if I've got this
  straight now.  Energy efficiency - good. Drilling in arctic national wildlife
  refuge - bad."
  [A knock]
  Voice: "Uh, Mr. President, is everything okay in there?"
  President: "Yeah, I'm fine, thanks." [sound of toilet flushing]

# Netherworld
- Two well-dressed corpses sitting at a table.  One sips a drink and asks "What
  is this tafia shit anyway?" (referring to the drink).  The other one says, "I
  don't know."

# Oscar (1991)
- Face on the Cutting Room Floor ........ Joe Dante

# Phantasm II
- Final credit (copyright notice): "...violators will face severe
  civil and criminal penalties and the wrath of the Tall Man."

# Planes, Trains & Automobiles
- Advertising exec William Windom examining a bunch of pictures.

# Promised Land
- Best Dog ... Cheetah

# Rain Man
- Throughout the movie, Raymond is taking pictures.  The pictures that he takes
  are shown as the background for the credits.

# Raising Arizona
- Baby Wrangler

# Repo Man
- Credits scroll down instead of up

# River Runs Through It, A
- No fish were killed or injured during the making of A RIVER RUNS THROUGH IT.
  The producers would like to point out that, although
  the Macleans kept their catch as was common earlier
  in this century, enlightened fisherman today endorse
  a "catch and release" policy to assure that this priceless
  resource swims free to fight another day.  Good fishing.

# Roadkill
- Hardly any animals were killed during the filming of this movie

# Running Man, The (1987)
- Announcer's voiceover: "The Running Man has been brought to you by: Breakaway
  Paramilitary Uniforms, Orville Pure Procreation Pills, and Cadre Cola - it
  hits the spot.
    Promotional considerations paid for by Elton Flame Throwers,
  Wainright Electrical Launchers, and Hammand & Gates Chain Saws.
    Damon Gillian's wardrobe by Chez Antoine, 19th century
  craftsmanship for the 21st century man.
    Cadre trooper and studio guard's sidearms provided by Colt
  Chester, the pistol of patriots.
    Remember, tickets for the ICS studio tour are always available
  for class A citizens in good standing.
    If you'd like to be a contestant on The Running Man, send a
  self-addressed, stamped envelope to ICS Talent Hunt, care of your local
  affiliate, and then go out and do something really despicable!
    I'm Bill Hilgen. Good night and take care!"

# Scanners
- Assistant to Mr Heroux ... Kim Obrist
  Kim Obrist is the name of the lead female character.

# She's Having a Baby
- Various stars suggesting baby names -
  Kirstie Alley, Harry Anderson, Jay and Michael Astin, Dan Aykroyd, Matthew
  Broderick, John Candy, Dyan Cannon, Belinda Carlisle, Ted Danson, Judi Evans,
  Woody Harrelson, Robert Hays, "Magic" Johnson, Michael Keaton, Joanna Kerns,
  Penny Marshall, Bill Murray, Roy Orbison, Cindy Pickett, Annie Potts,
  John Ratzenberger, Ally Sheedy, Lyman Ward, Wil Wheaton.

# Singles
- Outtakes after credits on video version
- Steve (Campbell Scott) goes to a house looking for Linda (Kyra Sedgwick), but
  a woman at the house (Debbie Mazar) tells him that she's moved out to live
  with some guy.
- Steve walks down the street past the mime (Eric Stoltz) to the magazine stand
  where the magazines on the rack start talking to him, giving him advice.  He
  goes home to his apartment.
- David (Jim True) walks down a street.  His voiceover says that Steve's search
  for the perfect girl is a trap, and that he lives his own life like a French
  movie where everyone is cool and no attachments are made.  He enters a
  beatnik club where a woman (Lara Harris) recites a poem in French.  She sits
  down with him for a brief conversation in French and they leave together.

# Sister Act
- Newspaper and magazine clipping of the nun choir.

# Sleepaway Camp II: Unhappy Campers
- (Thank You For Reading The Credits)

# Smokey and the Bandit II
- Outtakes during the credits.

# Splash
- Tom Hanks and Daryl Hannah swimming and coming to an underwater city.

# Strange Brew
- Bob and Doug talk about their movie.

# Stuff, The
- Brooke Adams holding a container of Stuff as in a commercial: "Enough is
  never enough."

# Summer Job
- Court Jester ........... Kim Kennedy

# Terminal Exposure
- Beverly Hills Unit:
  Psychiatric Consultant .. Dr. Edmond Nutz
  Chiropractic Consultant . James Rolf
  Tanning Consultant ...... U.V. Red
  Palimony Consultant .... Marvin Rippolfson
  Silicone Consultant ..... B.G. Brest
  Japanese Gardening ...... Kurosawa Klippers
  Spago Liaison ........... Tom Kaplan
  Executive in Charge of Croissants .. Georges Bide
  Executive in Charge of Pool Cleaning .. Gary Sweep
- The makers of this motion picture consumed mass quantities
  of pizza, orange juice and water during the production. They
  never used drugs and have no intention of doing so in the future.
  Say "no" to drugs and have a long and happy life. Unless,
  of course, you are run over by an RTD driver, in which case
  you will have a short but happy life.
- Any similarity between asses portrayed in this motion picture
  and real asses, living or dead, are purely coincidental.
- The Producers would like to assure that no animals were injured
  in the making of this motion picture. Unfortunately, the same
  cannot be said of some of our actors.
- But seriously, folks...
  Any unauthorized duplication, distribution and exploitation
  of this motion picture will result in criminal prosecution
  and for all you video pirates out there, that means get your
  hands off our movie or we'll come after you with a loaded gun.
- When in California, visit the Omega Studios. The tour lasts
  only 30 seconds and is cheap, especially for blondes over
  5 ft. 8 in. with blue eyes, who may win an intimate dinner
  for two with the producer of this motion picture.

# THX 1138
- Credits roll up instead of down, and are at the beginning of the movie.

# Top Secret! (1984)
- Focus Puller          Tony Strachan
  Clapper Loader        John Fletcher
  Focus Loader          Jack Williams
  Clapper Puller        Tom Brown
  Puller Clapper        Joe Taylor
  Clapper Clapper       Edward Davis
  Flipper Flapper       Jane Thomas
- Hey Diddle Diddle     The Cat And The Fiddle
- Foreez                A Jolly Good Fellow
- This Space For Rent   [ this is in the middle of an otherwise blank screen ]

# Tune in Tomorrow...
- The opening credits are read over the radio instead of being shown.

# Uncle Buck
- John Candy's voice shouts, "Wake up!"

# Viva Max!
- "all characters depicted in this motion picture except John Wayne are
    ficticious and any similarity to actual persons....."

# Wayne's World
-       Wayne: "Right, excellent movie.  All right!"
        Garth: "Good one!"
        [Fade in to Wayne and Garth on their basement couch]
        Wayne: "All right.  Well that's all the time we have for our movie.
  We hope you found it entertaining, whimsical and yet relevant, with an
  underlined revisionist conceit that belie the film's emotional attachments
  to the subject matter."
        Garth: "I just hope you didn't think it sucked!"
        Wayne: "Okay, so thank you for coming.  Good night and party on!"
        Garth: "Party on, Wayne!"
        Wayne: "Party on, Garth!"
        [Fade to black]
-       [Fade in to Wayne and Garth on their couch looking at magazines]
        Garth: "You know, I don't think anyone's going to tell us when to
                leave."
        Wayne: "Yeah, good call Garth.  Uh, I bet we're just going to sit
                here and when they're finished they'll fade to black."
        [Fade to black]
        Garth: "I can't believe they did that."
        Wayne: "I told ya."

# Young Sherlock Holmes
- Old lady: "Can I help you?"
  Man: "I'd like a room please."
  Old lady presents register: "You sign here."
  Man signs the name "Moriarty".


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TELNET access  (not half as good as running your own browser)
====== ======
There a several telnet'able WWW servers. Here's some examples;

telnet info.cern.ch
      then type    go http://www.cm.cf.ac.uk/Movies/moviequery.html
telnet www.njit.edu          (login: www)
      then type    g http://www.cm.cf.ac.uk/Movies/moviequery.html
telnet ukanaix.cc.ukans.edu  (login: www)  needs vt100
      then look under "by Subject" then "Movies"

Help on the WWW can be found in comp.infosystems.www



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