***	Arthur's quest for knights...
***	Transcribed from the movie by Dr.Doom / Amega Industries

Arthur:	Whoooa!
	Halt!
Soldier: Who goes there!?
Arthur:	It is I, Arthur, son of Uthapendragon from the castle of Camelot.
	King of the Britons! Defeater of the saxons. Sovereign of all
	England.
Soldier: Pull the other one!
Arthur:	I am! And this is my thrusty servant Patsy! We have ridden the
	lenght and breth of the land, in search of knights who will join
	me in my court at Camelot.
	I must speek, with your lord and master!
Soldier: What? Ridden on a horse?
Arthur:	Yes!
Soldier: You're using coconuts!
Arthur: What?
Soldier: You've got two empty halves of coconuts and you're banging them
	together.
Arthur:	So? We have ridden since the snows of winter covered this land.
	Through the kingdom of Mercia, through...
Soldier: Where did you get the coconuts?
Arthur: We found them!
Soldier: Found them!? In Mercia? The coconuts are tropical!
Arthur:	What do you mean?
Soldier: This is a temperate zone.
Arthur: The swallow may fly south with the sun, or the *passage bird* or the
	fowl may seek warmer klimate in the winter, yet these are not
	strangers to our land!
Soldier: Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?
Arthur: Not at all! They could be carried.
Soldier: What? A swallow carrying a coconut?
Arthur: It could grip it by the hasp!
Soldier: It's not a question of where he grips it, it's a simple question
	of weight difference. A five ounce bird could not carry a one
	pound cococonut!
Arthur: Well it doesn't matter! Will you go and tell your master that
	Arthur from the court of Camelot is here!
Soldier: Listen! In order to maintain air speed velocity, a swallow needs
	to beat his wings 43 times every second, right?
Arthur: Please!
Soldier:Am I right?
Arthur: I'm not interested!
Another soldier: It could be carried by an African swallow!
Soldier: Oh yeah, an African swallow, might be, but not an European swallow
	that's my point.
Soldier: Oh yeah, I agree with that.
Arthur: (Angry) Will you ask your master if he wants to join my court at
	Camelot.
Soldier: But then ofcourse, African swallows are non migrators.
Another soldier: Oh yeah! So they couldn't bring a coconut back anyway.
(Arthur gets so bored that he leaves)
Another soldier: Wait a minute! Supposing two swallows carried it together?
Soldier: Noo. Then they had to use a line.
Another soldier: Well, simple! They just use a *standard creeper*
Soldier: What? Hold under the *guardian feathers*
Another soldier: So why not?

(New scene. An "undertaker" bangs a triangle, while his servants dragges
 a cart, filled with bodies)

Undertaker: Bring out your dead! (8 times)
(get's another body)
	Nine pence.
	Bring out your dead! (4 times)
(A man appears, holding another body, an old man over his shoulder)
Man:		Here's one.
Undertaker:	Nine pence.
Old man:	I'm not dead!
Undertaker:	What?
Man:		Nothing, here's your nine pence!
Old man:	I'm not dead!
Undertaker:	Hey! He says he's not dead!
Man:		Yes, he is!
Old man:	I'm not!
Undertaker:	He isn't!
Man:		Well, he wont be soon, he's very old.
Old man:	I'm getting better!
Man:		No you're not, you'll be stone dead in a moment.
Undertaker:	Ohh, I can't take him like that! It's against regulation!
Old man:	I don't want to go on the cart!
Man:		Oh, don't be such a baby!
Undertaker:	I can't take him!
Old man:	I feel fine!
Man:		Do us a favor!
Undertaker:	I can't!
Man:		Well, could you hang around a couple of minutes, it wont
		be long.
Undertaker:	Noo, I got to go to Robinsons, they've lost nine today.
Man:		When is your next round?
Undertaker: 	Thursday.
Old man: 	I think I go for a walk!
Man:		You're not fooling anyone you know.
		Look. Isn't there something you could do?
Old man:	I feel happy! I feel happy!
(The undertaker looks around, then bangs the old man's head with his stick)
Man:		Ahh, thanks very much!
Undertaker:	Not at all. See you on thursday
Man:		Right!
(King Arthur "rides" past them)
Man:		Who's that?
Undertaker:	I don't know. It must be a king.
Man:		Why?
Undertaker:	He hasn't got shit all over him.

(New Scene. King Arthur "rides" up against a castle.)

Arthur:	Old woman!
Dennis: Man!
Arthur: Man. Sorry! What knight lives in that castle over there?
Dennis: I'm thirtyseven!
Arthur: What?
Dennis: I'm thirtyseven! I'm not old!
Arthur: Well I can't just call you "man"?

*** To be continued...