*** Novel writing from Dorchester in Dorset
*** Transcribed from "Matching tie and hankerchief"
*** By Dr.Doom / Amega Industries
*** Program manager: Eric Idle
*** 1.Reporter: Michael Palin
*** 2.Reporter (Dennis): ?
*** Rodney Thompson ?
Prg.Man:And now it's time for novel-writing which today comes from the
westcountry, on Dorset.
1.Rep: Hello and welcome to Dorchester where a very good crowd has turned
out to watch local boy Thomas Hardy write his new novel, "The return
of the native" on this very pleasant July morning. This will be his
eleventh novel and the fifth of the very popular Wessex novels...
And here he comes, here comes Hardy, walking out towards his desk;
he looks competent, he looks relaxed, very much the man in form,
as he acknowledges this very good natured bank holiday crowd.
And the crowd goes quiet now as Hardy settles himself down at the
desk, body straight, shoulders relaxed, pen; held lightly but firmly
in the right hand. He dips the pen... in the ink and he's off!
It's the first word, but it's not a word OH NO it's a doodle there up
on the top left end margin, it's a piece of meaningless scribble;
And he signs his name underneath it. OH DEAR what a disappointing
start. But he's off again, and here he goes, the first word of Thomas
Hardy's new novel, at 10:35 on this very lovely morning. It's three
letters, it's the definent article and it's THE. Dennis!
2.Rep: Well, this is true to the form, no suprises there. He started five
of his eleven novels to date with the definent article, we've had two
of them with it, there's been one but, two at's, one on, and a
*delirious, oh that ofcourse was never published.
1.Rep: I'm sorry to interrupt you there Dennis, but he's crossed it out,
Thomas Hardy, here on his first day of his new novel, has crossed
out the only word he's written so far, and he's gazing off into
space. Oh.. Oh dear he sign his name again.
2.Rep: It looks like *testily *Derberville all over again.
1.Rep: But he's... No he's down again and writing, Dennis. He's written THE
again... He's crossed it out again and written A! And there's a
second word coming up straight away and it's SAT. A sat, doesn't make
sence. A satur, A saturday! It's "a Saturday" and the crowd are
loving it! Theire really enjoying this novel. And "afternoon", "A
Saturday afternoon" from the beginning, and he's straight on to the
next word it's "IN","A Saturday afternoon in",in..in..in..in now..
November, November spellt wrong, but he's not going back, it looks
like he is going for the sentence. And here's the first verb coming
up, it's the first verb of the novel, and it's "WAS"!! And the crowd
are going wild! "A Saturday afternoon in November was...", and a
longword here... "Appro", "appro", is it "approval?" No it is
"approaching","approaching", "A Saturday afternoon in November was
approaching", and he's done the definent article "the" again. And
he's writing fluently, easily with varying strokes of the pen, as
he comes out to the middle of this first sentence. And with this
eleventh novel well under way; and the prospects of a good days
writing ahead... Back to the studio.
< After a few other sketches...>
Prg.man:Wasp club. Introduced as usually by Rodney Thompson.
Rodney: Hello, and welcome to wasp-club, where we...
Prg.man:We interrupt the sketch to take you straight back to novelwriting
from Dorchester and the latest news about that opening sentence:
1.Rep: Well; the noice you can hear, is because Hardy has just completed his
first sentence and it's a real cracker! Just listen to this:
"A Saturday afternoon in November was approaching the time of
twilight, and the vast track of uninclosed wild known as Eankon" He
improved himself moment by moment. And that after only three hours
of writing, what a hurrious cracker!
Prg.man:Well, Rodney Thompson will be back again with more wasp-club, when
he's all better