NUDGE.TXT - Nudge Nudge, know what I mean, know what I mean!

*** Nudge Nudge, know what I mean, know what I mean!
*** from Monty Python live at City Center and Monty Python's Flying Circus
*** transcribed from tape 4/3/86 Malcolm Dickinson 


Man: 'Evening, squire!
Squire: (stiffly) Good evening.
Man: Is, uh,...Is your wife a goer, eh?  Know whatahmean, know whatahmean,
     nudge nudge, know whatahmean, say no more?
Squire: I, uh, I beg your pardon?
M: Your, uh, your wife, does she go, eh, does she go, eh?
S: (flustered) Well, she sometimes "goes", yes.
M: Aaaaaaaah bet she does, I bet she does, say no more, say no more,
   knowwhatahmean, nudge nudge?
S: (confused) I'm afraid I don't quite follow you.
M: Follow me.  Follow me.  That's good, that's good!  A nod's as good as a
   wink to a blind bat!
S: Are you, uh,...are you selling something?
M: SELLING!  Very good, very good!  Ay?  Ay?  Ay?
(pause)
M: Oooh!  Ya wicked Ay!  Wicked Ay!  Oooh hooh!  Say No MORE!
S: Well, I, uh....
M: Is, your uh, is your wife a sport, ay?
S: Um, she likes sport, yes!
M: I bet she does, I bet she does!
S: As a matter of fact she's very fond of cricket.
M: 'Oo isn't?  Likes games, eh?  Knew she would.  Likes games, eh?  She's
   been around a bit, been around?
S: She has traveled, yes.  She's from Scarsdale.
(pause)
M: SAY NO MORE!!
M: Scarsdale, saynomore, saynomore, saynomore, squire!
S: I wasn't going to!
M: Oh!  Well, never mind.  Dib dib?
   Is your uh, is your wife interested in....photography, ay?
   "Photographs, ay", he asked him knowlingly?
S: Photography?
M: Snap snap, grin grin, wink wink, nudge nudge, say no more?
S: Holiday snaps, eh?
M: They could be, they could be taken on holiday.  Candid, you know,
   CANDID photography?
S: No, no I'm afraid we don't have a camera.
M: Oh.  Still, mooooooh, ay?  Mwoohohohohoo, ay?  Hohohohohoho, ay?
S: Look... are you insinuating something?
M: Oh, no, no, no...yes.
S: Well?
M: Well, you're a man of the world, squire.
S: Yes...
M: I mean, you've been around a bit, you know, like, you've, uh....
   You've "done it"....
S: What do you mean?
M: Well, I mean like,....you've SLEPT, with a lady....
S: Yes....
M: What's it like?