*** The Oxfod Simplified Dictionary
*** Transcribed from 'The brand new Monty Python book' by Dr.Doom


The Oxfod Simplified Dictionary

A									    Tit
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A  a
Aard-vark  a very difficult word which you don't need to know.
Abacinate  another word which is totally useless and you won't ever use, so
 don't go fretting over it or looking it up in another dictionary because
 honestly it's pointless.
Aback  aback
Abacus  a very similar word to 'Aback'
Abalone  see 'Aard-vark'
Abandon  to abandon
Abbey  an abbey
Abbot  an abbot
Abbreviate  to abbreviate
Abdicate  to abticate
Abdication  ditto (near enough)
Abditory  also similar
Abdomen  same again except for 5 letters
Abduct  almost the same
Aberration  an almost totally different word - ignore it
Abettor  abdomen
Abeyance  see 'Aard-vark'
Knickers  ladies' underpants
Abhorrent  I wouldn't worry about what this word means
Abide  abdicate
Abigail  lady's maid
Ability  ability
Abject  abdicate
Abjure  abject (only three letters' difference and they try to pass it off as
 a different word! Just shows those mealy-mouthed egg-heads in the universities
 haven't got anything better to do than split hairs over tiny details that
 don't make a fart of difference to people's lives. Abject/abjure whats the
 difference? Who cares anyway?)
Ablative  This kind of thing really makes me sick! Does it matter a thinker's
 cuss what different endings they used to have in a language nobody speaks
 any more.
Ablaze  ablaze
Abnegate  to abjure! (It really is! Look it up in the O.E.D. if you don't
 believe me!)
Abnormal  abnormal
Aboard  aboard
Abode  adbode
Abolish  abolish (this is what dictionaries ought to be like)
Abominable  abominable
Abortion  abortion
Abound  abound
About  about
Above  above
Abracadabra  abracadabra
Hey presto!  hey presto!
Shazam!  shazam!
Oogie-woogie  it's a boogie!
Abreast  not 'a breast'
Abroad  practically the same as 'Aboard' - in fact it's just got one tiny weeny
 little letter in a different place and they try to pass it off as a very
 different word! Therefore, very definitely, see 'Aboard'
Abrupt  abrupt
Abscess  a collection of pus or purulent matter formed in a morbid process in a
 cavity of the body. Great! It's words like that that make a dictionary real
 worthwile
Absolute  absolute
Absolution  absolute
Absolutist  absolute
Absolutory  absolute
Absolve  absolute
Absonant  absolute
Absorb  absolute
Abstract  abstract
Absurd  absurd
Abuse  abuse
Abyss  abyss
Acadialte  oh piss off.

B

Buttock  buttock
Bum  bum
Tit  tit

This is the end of the 'Oxfod' Simplified Dictionary. Words beginning with the
letter C onwards are seldom used, and hardly worth including in a genuine
simplified dictionary.
N.B. We do not refund money to clever-dicks who want to look up other words.
So there. Ed.