***	The witch scene from "Monty Python and the holy grail"	***
***	Transcribed from the movie by Dr.Doom / Amega Industries***

A crowd of peoples are screaming and shouting that they have found
a witch. They take her to Bedevere  ...

Erik Idle: (Stabs his staff three times) We have found a witch.
	Might we burn her?
Crowd:	BURN HER! BURN HER! BURN HER! BURN HER!
Bedevere: How do you know she is a witch?
Man:	She looks like one!
Crowd:	Yeah, she looks like one!
B:	Bring her forward.
Girl:	I'm not a witch, I'm not a witch!
B:	But, you are dressed as one.
G:	They dressed me up like this.
C:	Noooo, we didn't.
G:	And this isn't my nose, It's a false one!
B:	(Checks the false nose) Well?
E:	Well, we did do the nose...
B:	The nose?
E:	And the hat, but she's a witch!
C:	BURN HER! BURN HER!
B:	Did you dress her up like this?
E:	NO!
C:	NO! NO! NO! NO!
E:	Yes.
C:	Yes, yes, yes.
E:	Yeah, a bit.
C:	A bit, a bit.
E:	But she has got a wart.
B:	What makes you think she is a witch?
John Cleese: Well, she turned me into a nute*		(Norwegian: Vann0gle)
B:	A nute?
J:	 (looks around) I got better!
Man*:	BURN HER ANYWAY!		      (*Does somebody know his name?)
C:	BURN HER, BURN HER UP
B:	Quiet, quiet, quiet, QUIET!
	There are ways of telling wether she is a witch.
E:	Are there? (Crowd mumbles) What are they?
B:	Tell me: What do you do with witches?
C:	(Screaming) BURN THEM, BURN THEM, BURN THEM UP!
B:	And what do you burn apart from witches?
E:	MORE WITCHES! (John Cleese pushes him in the back)
J:	Shh.
Man:	Wood!
B:	So. Why do witches burn?

J:	Cos theire made... of wood?
B:	Gooood!
C:	Ohhh yeah!
B:	So. How do we tell wether she is made of wood?
E:	Build a bridge out of her!
B:	Ahh! But can you not also make bridges out of stone?
E:	Oh yeah.
C:	Oh yeah, of course, oh.
B:	Does wood sink in water?
Another Man: No, No!
Man:	No, It floats! It Floats!
E:	We throw her into the pool!
C:	(Screeming and shouting) We throw her into the pool!
B:	What also floats in water?
E:	Bread!
Man:	Apples!
J:	Ah, Very small rocks!
A.M:	Cider.
Man:	A great gravy!
Man:	Cherrys!
A.M:	Mud!
J:	Churches, Churches!
A.M:	Lead, lead.
King Arthur: A duck!
(The crowd turn their heads against king Arthur)
C:	Ooooh
B:	Exactly! So... logically.
E:	If... She... weight the same as a duck... She's made of wood.
B:	And therefore?

Man:	A witch!
E:	A WITCH!
C:	A WITCH! A WITCH!
(A man runs over with a duck) 'Ere's a duck!
B:	We shall use my largest scales.
(Crowd is screaming burn her)
(The girl is taken to a large scale and is placed on one of the scale pans.
 The duck is placed on the other)
B:	Right! Rrrrremove the supports!
C:	A WITCH! A WITCH
G:	It's a fair cop.
C:	BURN HER! BURN HER! BURN HER! BURN HER! osv.
B:	Who are you, who are so wise in the ways of science?
A:	I'm Arthur, king of the Britains.
B:	My liege!
A:	Good sir knight, will you come with me to Camelot, and join us at
	the round table.
B:	My liege! I would be honored.
A:	What is your name?
B:	Bedevere, my liege.
A:	Then I dub you Sir Bedevere, Knight of the round table.