lightbulbs

Babylon-5 Lightbulb Jokes:

How many _______ does it take to screw in a lightbulb:

        Mimbari:
                They surender.

        Narn:
                2: One to hold the lightbulb and one to look up how
                J'Quan did it.

        Centauri:
                Just one, but they do it with their tongues, so they
                can get their hair done at the same time.

        Vorlon:
                You are not ready for lightbulbs, yet.

                Does Saturn have rings?

                Zima Anyone?

        Shadow:
                1 lightbulb. 1 hand. 1 white wall. 'Nuf said.

        Delgar:
                1 scientist and 100 million Narn, for the trial runs.

        Soul Hunter:
                That's not a lightbulb, it's a Mimbari!

        Techno-mages:
                One techno-mage and 7 words.

                One techo-mage and all of Londo's victims.

        Drasi:
                Still caught up in committee. Ask again after the 6th
                age of humanity....

        Human:
                Before the third age, 1. During the third age,
                1. This third age thing just isn't as impressive as
                the opening credits would have us believe.

                A mimbari ;-)



        Telepaths:
                That's not very damn funny!

From: bobm@loc3.tandem.com (marek_bob)

Nina K. Berg (102461.2104@CompuServe.COM) wrote:
Q: How many Vorlons does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Two, but don't ask me how they got there.

Q: How many Centauri does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Centauri don't change lightbulbs. Centauri like shadows.

Q: How many Narn does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Five.  One to twist the socket and four to hold the
          Centauri still.

Q: How many Minbari does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One.  But it takes 40 hours and if they make a mistake
         they have to start over.

Q: How many Pak'ma'ra does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: It depends.  Pak'ma'ra hire incompetent electricians
   to change lightbulbs.

Q: How many Vorlons does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None.  The lightbulb has always been there.

Q: How many Drazi does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Half the race.  The last time a Drazi tried to change
   a light bulb he substituted a GREEN bulb for a PURPLE
   bulb just as a PURPLE was walking by.  The ensuing
   battle lasted six months, covered the whole planet,
   and half the Drazi population was wiped out.

Q: How many Shadows does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: No-one can count them.  They move when you're not looking.

and finally...

Q: How many Humans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: At least 23.  One to change the bulb, one to hold the ladder,
   three to stand around giving useless advice, two supervisors,
   one manager, three cops waving their arms, intoning "keep
   moving, keep moving", two accountants and and a minimum of
   10 rubberneckers.

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1996.

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