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     Date: 05-12-95    Time: 02:20a     Number: 22     
     From: KJETIL MYHRE                  Refer: 0       
       To: ALL                        Board ID: ROLVSOY         Recvd: No 
  Subject: Windows                          88: OS/KRIG        Status: Public 
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Hei og hopp!

Denne artige historien kom jeg over like før jul, og
nå er det passende å legge den frem. Jeg var litt usikker
på hvorvidt jeg skulle legge den her, eller i OS/WINDOWS....


-------------------------------------
"Star Trek Lost Episodes" Transcript.
       By Steve Christensen
-------------------------------------

Picard> "Mr. Laforge, have you had any success with your attempts
at finding a weakness in the Borg?  And Mr. Data, have you been able
to access their command pathways?"

Geordi> "Yes, Captain.  In fact, we found the answer by searching
through our archives on late Twentieth-century computing technology."

Geordi presses a key, and a logo appears on the computer screen.>

Riker looks puzzled.> "What the hell is 'Microsoft'?"

Data turns to answer>  "Allow me to explain.  We will send this program,
for some reason called 'Windows', through the Borg command pathways,
Once inside their root command unit, it will begin consuming system
resources at an unstoopable rate."

Picard> "But the Borg have the ability to adapt.  Won't they alter
their processing systems to increase their storage capacity?"

Data> "yes, Captain. But when 'Windows' detects this, it creates a new
version of itself know as an 'upgrade'.  the use of resoureces increases
exponentially with each iteratio.  The Borg will not be able to adapt
quickly enought. Eventually all of their processing abiltity will be
taken over and none will be available for their normal operational
functions."

Picared> "Excellent work.  This is even better than that 'unsolvable
geometric shape' idea."

... 15 Minutes Later...

Data> "Captain, We have successfully installed the 'Windows' in the
command unit and, as expected, it immediatly consumed 85% of all
resources.  We however have not received any confirmation of the
expected 'upgrade'."

Geordi> "Our scanners have picked up an increase in Borg storage and CPU
capacity to compensate, but we still have not indication of an 'upgrade'."

Picard> "Data, scan the history banks again and ddetermine if there is
something we have missed."

Data> "Sir, I believe therew is a reason for the failure in the 'upgrade'.
Appearently the Borg have circumvented that part of the plan by not
sending in their registration cards."

Riker>  "Captain, we have no choice.  Requesting permission to begin
emergency escape sequence 3F..."

Geordi, excited> "Wait, Captain I just deteced their CPU capacity has
suddenly dropped to 0%!"

Data>  "Appearently the Borg have found the internal 'Windows' module
named 'Solitaire' and it has used up all the CPU capacity."

Picard>  "Let's wait and see how long this 'solitaire' can reduce their
functionality."

... Two Hours Pass ...

Riker> "Geordi, what's the status on the Borg?"

Geordi>  "As expected the Borg are attempting to re-engineer to
compensate for increased CPU and storage demands, but each time they
successfully increase resources I have setup our closest deep space
monitor beacon to transmit more 'windows' modules from something
called the 'Microsoft fun-pack'."

Picard> "How much time will that buy us?"

Data>  "Currently the Borg solution rates allow me to predicte an
interest time span of 6 more hours."

Geordi> "Captain, another vessel has entered our sector."

Picard> "Identify."

Data> "It appears to have markings very similar to the 'Microsoft' logo"

Over the speakers> "THIS IS ADMIRAL BILL GATES OF THE MICROSOFT FLAGSHIP
MONOPOLY. WE HAVE POSITIVE CONFIRMATION OF UNREGISTERED SOFTWWARE IN THIS
SECTORE. SURRENDER ALL ASSETS AND WE CAN AVOID ANY TROUBLE.  YOU HAVE 10
SECONDS"

Data>  "The alien ship has just opened its foward hatches and released
thousands of humanoid shaped objects."

Picard>  "Magnify forward viewer on the alien craft"

Riker> "Good God captain!  Those are humans floating straight toward the
Borg ship with no life support suits! How can they survive the tortures
of deep space?!"

Data>  "I don't believe that those are humans sir, if you will look
closer I believe you will see that they are carrying something recognized
by twentyfirst century man as doe-skin leather briefcases, and wearing
Armani suits"

Riker and Picard together horrified>  "Lawyers!!"

Geordi>  "It can't be.  All the Lawyers were rounded up and sent
hurtling into the sun in 2017 during the Great Awakening."

Data>  "True, but appearently soem must have survived."

Riker>  "They have surrounded the Borg ship and are covering with
all types of papers."

Data>  "I believe that is know in the anceint venacular as 'red tape'.
It often proves fatal."

Riker>  "They're tearing the Borg to pieces!"

Picard>  "Turn off the monitors.  I can't stand to watch, not even the
Borg deserve that."
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-= Kjetil =- Den microsoft'en, den microsoft'en...

---
 ■ RM 1.3 01431 ■ !!! THINK POS/2IVE !!!
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