In today’s edition of Watch Random Unknown Movies And Hope For a Gem, all the movies are non-Hollywood movies released in 2007. All of them, except one, suck.

Stellet Licht – Attention film-makers: I don’t care that it worked for Kubrick, do not open your film with 9 minutes of silence. Watched: 6 more minutes, and most of them were silent too. IMDB reviewers, on the other hand, were “joyfully, tearfully and emotionally sucked in”.

Den Sorte Madonna – Danish take on 80′s action comedy cliches. Watched: 11 minutes. IMDB reviewers frothing, demand that director Lasse Spang Olsen be tried at the International Criminal Court.

Nightwatching – Loved the intro, the rest not so much. Self-aware and theatery in a bad way. Watched: 10 minutes. IMDB reviewers are divided between those who didn’t like it, and those who appear to share the movie’s flaws.

Smother – “Write what you know” does not apply when all you know is that your mom is overbearing and your boss is a twerp. Watched: 5 minutes.

The Wizard of Gore – Ambitious exploitative B-horror, with nudity, blood and guts. This is the most fun I’ve had all night – this is why I do these things. Yes yes it’s crappy, but it’s also unique and stylish and surreal. Watched: All of it. IMDB reviewers say it’s less gory than the 1970 original, which they see as a bad thing, so that counts them out.