The only self-help book I need: The Discourses of Epictetus. Stoicism has been out of favor for a while. It’s seen as emotionless and puritanical, which is true, but avoidable. You’re allowed to pick the parts you like. The Stoics wouldn’t approve, but they’re dead. The parts I like in Stoicism deal with the power of choice, the one thing nobody can take away from you. Place your happiness and self-worth in things that are within your sphere of choice, and you will never be anxious or bitter. Doing your best is up to you, being rewarded for it isn’t. It’s not up to you to avoid illness, but it is up to you how you deal with it. It’s an ideal: Not possible, but something to aim for.
The greatest flaw of the Stoics was fatalism. Changing the world was not an option to them, so they turned inward. They would have mocked the last 200 years of political and social progress. Again you can pick the parts you like.
Epictetus imagines himself before the emperor and says: “Chain me if you like, but my will is free!” This is a posture, but an inspiring one. Epictetus is not for everyone. Some may find him cold, others depressing. For me he’s a safety net. I’m an Epicurean when things go well, a Stoic when things go wrong. The Stoics wouldn’t approve, but again, they’re dead. All that is left of them is a handful of fine ideas that lie forgotten in a ditch.