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Seven Brides for Seven Brothers (1954, USA, Donen)

I try to imagine how this movie was pitched. I think it went like this: All the MGM bigshots sit around a table discussing ideas, and one of them says, “I know what, let’s take that old Roman legend, you know, the one about the rape of the Sabine women, and make a bright, cheerful musical out of it!”  And everyone thinks it’s a brilliant idea.  Brilliant.  “But”, says one, “could we lose the rape angle? Some of our viewers are women, and may be a bit narrow-minded about that sort of thing.”  “Sure!  We’ll just pretend that when a gang of lonely men kidnap a group of women, and keep them locked up in their cabin over the winter, sex would be the furthest thing from their minds!  And they’ll all fall in love in the end, so it’s okay!”  (Actually, that was how the Romans spun the story too. As if!) And thus was born the most unintentionally disturbing musical ever made.  Watched it all before, and bits of it this time.

Casino Royale (1954, USA)

Ah yes, the famous quiz question: Who was the first James Bond? I’ll tell you: It was Barry Nelson. But I encourage you to register a protest with the quiz master, because this made for TV version of Ian Fleming’s first Bond novel has stripped away everything that is Bond about Bond. Watched: 15 minutes.