Category Archives: 50′s movies

1950s movies marathon – part 43

Sommaren med Monika / Summer with Monika (1953, Sweden, Bergman)

Society is cruel to young lovers. They expect you to hold down a job and obey the law, and then, one day when you look in the mirror, the dead eyes of an adult stare back at you.  It’s all so unfair!  Watched it all.  One thing I didn’t expect from this marathon was how much I would hate Ingmar Bergman at his worst.  But at his best he’s pretty okay.

Knights of the Round Table (1953, USA)

“We’re knights of the Round Table, we dance whenev’er we’re able. We do routines and chorus scenes with footwork impec-cable, We dine well here in Camelot, we eat ham and jam and Spam a lot.” Watched: 10 minutes.

The Juggler (1953, USA, Dmytryk)

Tormented Holocaust survivor Kirk Douglas is on the run in Israel after nearly killing a policeman, but his serial number tattoo opens all hearts.  Watched it all, and it’s good in that earnest 50s message movie way, but there’s something phony about how nice every single person he meets is.  Even the detectives who chase him want nothing more than to make him feel welcome in his new home country.

Miss Sadie Thompson (1953, USA)

So Rita Hayworth walks onto an island full of lonely Marines.  My imagination is too dirty to enjoy the 1953 version of what happens next.  Watched: 13 minutes.

1950s movies marathon – part 42

The Band Wagon (1953, USA, Minnelli)

Watched it all before, so many times that this time I decided to switch sympathies, and see the Broadway director as a genius who might have redefined theatre with his comedy-drama-horror-musical take on Faust if not for that has-been Fred Astaire and his showbusiness cronies.  Doesn’t work, and in fact this isn’t as good as I remember it. Oh well, that’s entertainment.

Blowing Wild (1953, USA)

Watch two of the magic formulas of the western movie put together for the first time: Frankie Laine and Mexican banditos.    Watched: 5 minutes.

House of Wax (1953, USA, de Toth)

Golden Age Hollywood gave Vincent Price ordinary roles with a bit of extra teeth.  With horror he grows into his true self, the delicate man on the edge of madness.  Watched it all before, and again now, the first half hour in 3D.  It’s the best 50s color 3D yet, meaning it feels not quite like an icepick in the head, so I saw the rest in glorious un-nauseating non-3D.

The Man Between (1953, UK, Reed)

An English woman’s brother’s German wife has a terrible secret in dark, divided Berlin, and I guess I’ll have to watch to the end to find out what it is.  Or .. I can just look it up on the internet.  Watched: 14 minutes.

1950s movies marathon – part 41

The Beast From 20,000 Fathoms (1953, USA)

The original Godzilla was American, animated by Ray Harryhausen.  But you wouldn’t know from looking at the actors’ faces that they were part of something historic.  The rampaging dinosaur outacts them all.  Watched it all.

Inferno (1953, USA)

The color 3D in this movie is so painful it drowns out the boredom I would otherwise feel.  Make it stop!  Please, I’ll tell all!  Watched: 6 minutes.

Cat-Women of the Moon (1953, USA)

More proof that 50s 3D only works with black and white movies.  You don’t have to strain yourself to see the effect, it comes naturally.  But it still hurts when too much happens at once.  I think it’s time to send the boffins back into their laboratories.  I don’t care if it takes them 50 years to get it right.  This sucks.  Watched: 8 minutes.

Man on a Tightrope (1953, USA, Kazan)

“Who, me, a Communist?  Why, just look at how ridiculously evil I portray them in this important movie about Czechoslovakia.  They’re so evil they’re not even human, just terrifying cardboards.  Me, a Communist!  Well, there was that one time in the entire 1930s, but that was ages ago – and, oh, I’ll tell you who else used to be a Communist: Those guys over there. For all I know they still are!” Watched: 16 minutes.

1950s movies marathon – part 40

All Ashore (1953, USA)

The trio of singing and dancing sailors who go ashore and have adventures with random beauties are the blandest such sailors in a long time, so featureless that your eyes glaze over them, but the script by Blake Edwards adds a bit of life to the tired setup.  Watched it all.

The Story of Little Mook (1953, East Germany, Staudte)

One of the most popular children’s movies in the DDR, an Arabian Nights tale that is more realistic than the norm in this genre, on account of the beggars having dirt on their faces.  Watched: 15 minutes.

The Robe (1953, USA)

This was the first movie to be released in CinemaScope/widescreen.  It was selected for this honor because it was important, full of Romans and early Christians hanging about on crosses etc.  The usual nonsense.  The audience was probably too awed by the new technology to be bored.  Watched: 13 minutes.

Thunder Bay (1953, USA, Mann)

Although James Stewart gets to show off some of his creepy side, as an oil wildcatter balancing the edge between con-man and businessman, Anthony Mann again makes a movie without his trademark no-nonsense meanness.  Worrying.  Watched: 10 minutes.

1950s movies marathon – part 39

Sadko (1953, USSR, Ptushko)

I’ve seen the dubbed American release of this fantasy adventure on MST3K.  It’s a mistake, but clearly much was lost in Coppola’s translation, for the original release is not bad at all, or at least a fair attempt at iron curtain escapism.  Instead of a campy “Sinbad” going on yet another stupid voyage, it’s about a minstrel who launches a trade mission to improve the lives of the poor people of Novgorod.   The visuals are unlike anything else I’ve seen.  Watched it all.

The Caddy (1953, USA)

Jerry Lewis and Dean Martin are the only funny comedians of the 50s, and barely even that.  So far they’ve only let themselves loose in At War With the Army.  The rest reminds me mostly of [insert name of gifted comedian who remains strangely popular despite clearly not even trying any more].  Watched: 13 minutes.

Julius Caesar (1953, USA, Mankiewicz)

Lavish visuals and decadent banquet scenes don’t make a great toga epic.  Look at HBO’s Rome, which (let’s admit it now) had style but no thoughts in its pretty little head.  This does.  It speaks with the voice of millennia.  When you listen closely, you can hear the heartbeat of a civilization beneath these marble words.  Watched it all.

Time Bomb (1953, UK)

A train filled with explosives is on its way to Portsmouth, where it is set to explode.  The authorities decide to deal with the threat with the firm protrusion of their massive stiff upper lips.  Watched: 18 minutes.

1950s movies marathon – part 38

The Conquest of Everest (1953, UK, Lowe)

A new queen for Britain, and the top of Mount Everest, all in one day.  Top of the world, ma!  Top of the world.  This documentary presents Edmund Hillary’s conquest of Everest as the supreme human achievement of his age, a small-scale moonlanding.  The climbers are gentlemen heroes, whose conquest of nature depends equal parts on science and stiff upper lips.   Watched it all.

From Here to Eternity (1953, USA)

America’s pre-war soldiers lounge about at Pearl Harbor and OMG they’ll all be bombed in the end!  Watched it all before, but mostly out of respect for its Oscars, and I don’t see the point this time either.  Might be better if it had a Moroder soundtrack.

Fort Ti (1953, USA)

50s 3D sometimes offers the viewer something vaguely 3D’ish, (if you focus .. just .. right), but more often just a blur and a nagging sense that you’re supposed to be seeing something here.  And you get just as nauseus whether it works or not.  Watched: 7 minutes.

Sins of Jezebel (1953, USA)

Introduced by a brimstone preacher whose background history of the world starts with Genesis and ends with Israel’s descent into idolatry at the hands of that .. that .. that woman Jezebel, I propose this as a candidate for the worst Bible epic of all time.  Watched: 10 minutes.

1950s movies marathon – part 37

Mr. Hulot’s Holiday (1953, France, Tati)

How dry can you make slapstick comedy before it’s not even funny any more?  Jacques Tati balances the edge, like an android experimenting with “this thing you humans call comedy”.  Watched it all.

Titanic (1953, USA, Negulesco)

So the appeal of Titanic movies is, what, that you know it will Sink Tragically in the end, so you’re willing to put up with unremarkable drama while you wait?  Ending a story with “but suddenly there was a disaster and almost everyone died” is usually seen as a cheat.  Titanic movies get a free pass from that.  I object!  Watched: 5 minutes.

Project Moonbase (1953, USA)

I believe I detect the Heinleinian touches here both in the revelation that future America has a female president, and in the scene where the general threatens to give the female colonel a spanking if she doesn’t stop sulking and obey his orders.  He was a funny old man that way.  Watched it all – with MST3K commentary.

The Clown (1953, USA)

Crusty the Clown is all washed up.  He drinks, gets into fights, and it’s only thanks to his young friend Bart that he eventually lands a job in television.  Watched: 12 minutes.

1950s movies marathon – part 36

Gentlemen Prefer Blondes (1953, USA, Hawks)

There are only two kinds of women: The kind that marries for looks (Jane Russell), and the kind that marries for money (Marilyn Monroe).  Watched it all.  It’s one of the insurmountable problems for the stricter brands of feminism that sexism and materialism is simply a lot more fun.  Oh, and I’ll stop making fun of Marilyn Monroe’s voice now.  The more she comes to look like her iconic self, the less I notice.

It Came From Outer Space (1953, USA)

Ha!  Who says I miss out on things by only watching old movies?  The 50s now have 3D too, and in some scenes it even looks half-way believable.  I wonder why it went out of fashion for 50 years.  Apart from the nauseau and headache, I mean.  Watched: 22 minutes.

Glen or Glenda (1953, USA, Wood)

Decades of bad B-movies about social and sexual issues have resulted in this, the ultimate bad movie.  But I must I say I admire Ed Wood a bit.  He’s advocating, in 1953, tolerance of transsexuals.  That’s a pretty big deal.  And he’s talentless in such a disarmingly earnest way.  Watched it all.  Then again, the movie reassures us that while Glen is a transvestite, he is “not a homosexual”.  Phew, well that’s allright then!

The Bells of Cockaigne  (1953, USA)

This TV movie is my first sighting of James Dean, who hasn’t perfected broody yet, and comes across as whiny instead.  Common problem.  Watched: 4 minutes. Btw, how do you pronounce Cockaigne?

1950s movies marathon – part 35

Invaders From Mars (1953, USA)

I wonder if perhaps those people who see the red scare reflected in all those 1950s sci-fi movies are overanalyzing things a bit.  Sometimes a regular dad who acts like he has a terrible secret is just a regular dad who has been possessed by invaders from Mars.  Watched it all.

How to Marry a Millionaire (1953, USA)

Hey, they’ve finally invented CinemaScope! Widescreen! Stereo! Oh, how I’ve missed it all.  Okay, so they’re overdoing the stereo effect a bit.  It’s not necessary to move all the sound to the left when the character is on the left side of the screen.  And there are some odd lense effects when the camera moves.  Watched: 15 minutes.

The Wages of Fear (1953, France)

All the scum of Europe have ended up in a bar in Nameless South America.  Nothing to do but sit around in the heat and dream of food and money, and nothing to hope for but for the local ugly American to come around and exploit you.  Watched it all.  I think I read this story in Donald Duck & Co in the 80s.

Hondo (1953, USA)

The only reason I’ve heard of Hondo is because it was described as the greatest western of all time in an episode of Married With Children, where Al missed it on TV and learned he would have to wait to 2011 for the next airing.  Well, it’s now 2011, but I don’t see what all the fuss was about.  Watched: 10 minutes. Perhaps I’ll give it another chance in 2028.